All the basic household decisions were made by the landowner. Only his wife had some rights. The symbol of her power was the large bunch of keys she was wearing on her waist. When her mother-in-law was alive, the woman was never independent. She was responsible for the hardest chores. The Finnish proverb says: "Seldom praise your son-in-law, never - your daughter-in-law".
Traditionally, the Finns got married between 20 and 30. It was thought that in order to marry, a girl should be able to sew a man's shirt, to shear sheep, etc. A man had to be able to make a wood-sledge, to mount a horse from the ground.
As a rule, marriages were contracted within one's village and parish. Strict rules of conduct influenced young people's interaction. Girls and young men initially met each other during some field teamwork - harvesting, scotching etc. A real feast was a visit to the church, which served as a matchmaking device: young people took a closer look at each other, and their parents engaged in finding good partners for their children. There were also various events and traditional activities, in which the young people played a great part.
An important figure in pre-wedding ceremonies in the beginning of XX century was the matchmaker, whose responsibilities were imposed on one of the relatives of the young man. A visit of the matchmakers was always an important event for the family, which is why they would be given a warm welcome. Still, this hospitable attitude meant next to nothing.
If the girl was not invited into the room during the negotiations, there was only one meaning to it - an evident refusal. However, if the matchmaker's proposal was met favorably, the guests were offered to take off their clothes. In this case, the matchmaker would take out the deposit - a ring, money or another present. The goal of the first stage of matchmaking was to obtain a preliminary consent, if a refusal had not been granted previously, of course.
If the girl did not take the deposit, it would also be considered a refusal. If she did, it meant that the proposal would be considered. To take the deposit from the table, the girl would sweep it into her apron or a basket without touching it. The matchmakers, meanwhile, tried to make sure that the handkerchief with the deposit touches her body. After that, the girl was supposed to "stick" to the young man.
The key point of matchmaking was the traditional visit paid by the bride to the groom's house. As a rule, the girl would stay in his house for a week, doing some household chores. If the girl would decide to marry that guy after the visit to his house, the matchmakers would come to carry out the engagement, which had a legal effect and was very important in the eyes of the people.
The folk wedding ritual with its diverse rites was changing a lot as time went by, also having multiple local peculiarities. The two distinct variations are the East Finnish and West Finnish weddings. The East Finnish ceremony has many archaic features, while the West Finnish stressed the higher level of social and economic development of the country's Western part.